these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
