Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
