There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Boobs speak an international language.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
