I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
