My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
