i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
