I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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