Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
