What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
