yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Who died my cat blue again?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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