peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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