it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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