today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
