Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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