Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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