she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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