His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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