it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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