quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
