I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
