alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the day after is always just damage control
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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