he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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