When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
