she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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