drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
