she woke up with a sticky ear
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
