rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
