i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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