why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
