I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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