I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
