i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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