Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
