I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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