Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
