Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
