U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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