Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
