Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
