Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
