Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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