please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
