Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
