Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
