awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
