i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
