Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
