Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
