I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
