update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Randomize
