Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
