quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
